Well, I figure it is about time…..

Well, I have covered all the aspects of the title of my blog except one….the hair. Now I know that there are a lot of you out there that think that this a gross topic and it is people like you that deserve to suffer (well, maybe not like pain in any way, but at the very least lots and lots of tickle torture, or pure humiliation) You see, I am hairy, I am very hairy and I have been that way almost my entire life. I really think that my mother bathed me in Rogaine as a small child. For women early blooming is sometimes painful and just as humiliating, but for guys it is hair! Now, I high school I hated any talk that included all the girls thinking how gross hair was, especially back hair. I spent most of my life in Jr. High and High School thinking that no girl would ever marry me, because how gross they thought back hair was. (you can now feel sorry for me) I mean, every girl out there (that was remotely cute) thought that back hair was absolutely gross beyond anything they could imagine, and with every comment another surgically plunged dagger whole appeared in my heart.

(side note… I am happily married and it is largely due to Tiffany loving Magnum P.I. on TV, woo hoo thank you Tom Selleck for being sexy and hairy!!!! You allowed me to be married, ha ha ha ha /side note)

Well, getting back to the story……. I thought I would tell you all how hairy I am so I can at least say that I have covered all the aspects of the title of my blog so here goes…..

I was in High School and I was a member of Spirit Wind (a United Methodist Conference Choir). The choir covered 2 weeks of the summer and the schedule would be that we would sing that evening in a church and then the member’s of the church would host a few youth in their homes over the evening then feed us breakfast and we would then go back to the church has a worship service then load back up into the busses and drive to the next church and do it all over again. It was tons of fun, and yet very disturbing in some houses, heh. Well, one evening I went with a large group of guys and one of the guys brought a set of clippers (by clippers I mean the electric trimmers that you can use to cut hair or just clean up the sideburns, etc…) Well, when you are gone for a week on the road sometimes the neck hair gets unruly and it is nice to trim it up every now and then (besides there were lots of good looking girls that were in the choir) Well, I was feeling a little (ok a lot) hairy and I asked if he could clean up the back of my neck. He said, “sure” and so we put a towel over the pool table and he started trimming. Little did I know that he would be the man of my dreams (dreams that promoted death and humiliation for the rest of his life to pay back for what he did to me). Well, while he was “trimming” my neck I guess he had a discussion with Satan and decided that it would be funny to shave a line right down the middle of my back. Now, I had a nice looking neck, with a nature trail going right down the center of my back!!! I thought to myself, “No he did not just shave a straight line down my back….doe he realize that I could crush him with my left hand pinky finger?” He proceeded to laugh out loud and gather all the other guys to see his “masterpiece”. They all proceeded to roll on the ground in devilish laughter while I continued to think, “OK, how can I poison them all and get away with it?....OK D.G. you have two options, Option #1 Just leave it as it is and let it grow back, Option #2 Shave the entire back and let it grow back evenly.” After the guy drug himself up from the floor he asked the question that should make you think, “Hey can I shave a cross in your back?” I then proceeded to do some more thinking, “Death, DEath, DEAth, DEATh, DEATH…...He has no idea , he really has no idea….Well, what the heck, he might as well enjoy the last moments of his life.” So, he proceeds to shave a cross in my back….then I felt what felt like him shaving the cross crooked, but it turns out that he was shaving sun rays coming out of the center of the cross. (this is the time that you say to yourself, “wow, D.G. really is hairy”. Well, needless to say I never killed him, (in real life that is, heh) and the next day I had a very weird experience. I was sitting in a pew waiting for the worship service to start that morning, and then I felt a bug on my back, I brushed it just like anyone would and then I sat back down. Well, I kept on feeling a bug on my back. I even had some people check to see if there was a bug on my back and nothing….Then I finally realized what it was……for the first time in my life I was actually feeling my shirt on the skin on my back!!! See, when he shaved the cross there was not any hair and for the first time I felt my shirt against my skin which used to be push back by my back hair, heh (this is the time you think to yourself, OK he really is hairy!) Yep, I am a hairy Pastor.

Ok there you all go, I have now officially covered all the aspects of my blog title. If you are interested in the others then by all means just read through and find them all. A free blog post (unedited my me, unless it is not appropriate words) on my blog to anyone who can find all the posts (name their titles and date) that include anything about my blog title!!!! Yeah cheesy prize I know, but it is the only thing I can think of. It could be good though, heh.

Jay Update:

Well, Jay went into the hospital on Tuesday and he left the hospital today. Apparently this round of chemo is what loosens the cells and especially the stem cells into the blood stream for them to harvest and then do the stem cell transplant stuff. He was having a hard time with one thing, but I am sure if he is home that he is doing much better now. So please KUTP! (man I can’t wait until the day that I will never will have a Jay update again! Heh)

Well, I got a new trash can today, and I hope this one Halo will not be able to get into! The Target one is horrible and now we ordered this one!Well, there you go and I hope you enjoy this long post. At the very least I hope it brought a smile to your face! Any maybe made all you people that are grossed out by hair to think twice when making fun of hair, especially hair on babies that were bathed in Rogaine!

BTW: Tiffany’s Mother is just fine. He had not gotten good news about her heart, but now the Dr.’s think she is just fine, so that is good news!