The one that D.G. gets very tired.....

Well, I am in a hotel room, but my mind is with my brother who needs lots and lots of prayer and healing. Sheila's email below can tell you everything about Jay so I won't go too deep, but all I can say is it just kills me to see him in the state he is in. The ICU was worse and he is doing so much better, but this is the time that takes more patience and I think I am finding out how deep my patience recovery really is. It is not a patience of dealing with Jay, or my sleep, or just sitting around a hospital room all day long and only leaving to eat...But it is the patience for jaw's body and mind to heal up. My brother the men's (never tested, but a sure bet in my mind) is talking very slow and moving even slower. I know it has got to be frustrating for him and I can not imagine what it is like, and me being the typical guy I want to pull out my tool box and fix all the problems. I wish I could just pray it all away or wave a wand and have all this go away, but trust and hope are things that I have always had in Christ, and I have given my life to Christ so why is it so hard for me to give my brother's life to Christ? heh. It may sound weird, but I think we are all creatures of selfishness and sometimes loving someone so much which seems to be selflessness can turn into a selfish love of others, heh.

Every now and then I get a wake up call that I can not control everything and everyone and once again I allow God to be in control (as if I ever had control to begin with, heh) and it is amazing how much someone can learn about themselves while experiencing life with other people. I guess that is what makes life fun, and frustrating, heh.

Well, I did all kinds of things today, but none of them really mattered too much, the most fun I had today was holding Jay back from the shower and running to Eckard (sp?) Drug store (7 blocks away) before they closed @ 9:00 pm tonight with Sheila to buy over $60 worth of mouth medicine, heh. It was worth it and we loved doing it. And Sheila and I both got our exercise in, heh.....

I miss Tiffany by amounts I can not express, but we are all making it and so is Jay..... the only thing he needs other than a cure for cancer (we are working on that one) is for him to feel better so he can get his fight back. He is just so tired and run down that he is not being the usual Jay the cancer killer attitude, but how can he when he is spitting up phlem and feeling sick all the time? But I try to keep the attitude in the room up beat and fun. It is not hard and I love seeing Jay's smile (even if it is most of the time sarcastic, heh) I'll take anything from him, heh.

Well, I really do need to go to bed, and I think I will, so yall have a wonderful night and God bless yall! Thank you for your reading this and concern and please KUTPs!!!!!!

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Sheila's email:

Jan. 5th Evening:

Sorry, it has been a few days since I have written but I have been very busy
taking care of Jay. He has been very heavily sedated and needs constant care.
He is in a standard room on the HEM/ONC ward. His room number is 718 and is
phone number is 412-578-1084. Please hold off on calling for a while because he
is unable to talk more than a whisper because of the irritation from the
ventilator and feeding tube as well as the mucositis he got from the chemo. His
oncologist is going to start him on a protocol called HYPER-CVAD that they are
using at Author Anderson for Burkitts after that he will have another Bone
Marrow transplant but this time from his brother.

He hasn't slept much in the past 2 nights and I think that I've had about 5
hours of solid sleep in the past 72 hours. The night before he was up all night
very groggy and was coming out of the anesthesia and fighting me on being
restrained to the bed we spent all night compromising until I felt confident he
was really Jay and not Mr. Hyde.
Yesterday, he returned to my sweet and lovable Jay but the gave him a sleeping
pill at night and he fell out of the bed and ripped out his PICC line and bled
everywhere. Later that night they had to start an IV and his vein blew and his
hand filled up to twice its size with fluids. This morning he got another PICC
line and yesterday they took out his catheter and his groin central line and he
was very happy about that.
He is set to have a Lumber puncture tomorrow in which they also inject a very
long acting chemo drug. His lungs have cleared up but his air passages are
sore. His kidneys are back to functioning fine.

He is feeling absolutely miserable but the Doctors are actually pleased with his
progress. He told me he can't understand how they can be so happy when he feels
so bad. They then tried to explain how he had been the past 7 days. He still
doesn't quite understand how it all fits together.

One of his oncologists just came up for a social visit today to tell him hello.
The Doctor's here are really amazing.

Well, here's to a good night sleep for Jay. He sure needs it. Dr. Lister told
him that it maybe several more days until his sleeping pattern straightens out
because he said being in the ICU cause all kinds of disruptions and it takes
usually a week or more to work out. I'm thankful for my work that got me and
Jay's family hotel rooms nearby so that I was able to get sleep this afternoon.
I'm not longer delirious and able to keep an eye on him tonight (well Jay may
disagree about the delirious part :-)).

Thanks again for all of your well wishes. We're making progress!


Thanks,
Sheila

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Yall have a wonderful day and remember to let God take off the burden, sometimes you just can't handle it all. ;)

God bless yall and KUTPs!!!!!!!!!!!